i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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