Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Green mimosas i think yes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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