Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
