Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
