he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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