I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
