found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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