Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
MIDGETS
????
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
