it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
