Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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