do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
