How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
