Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
