I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
