I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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