glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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