Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
