I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
