Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
