My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
