HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
