1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize