i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
