I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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