How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
