at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
