You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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