ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
even my farts smell like vagina
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
