walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
