Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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