Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this will be a night to untag.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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