four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize