i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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