your parents love me but you hate me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
