that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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