the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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