Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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