kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
