just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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