I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The feeling are messing with the penis
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize