OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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