Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so let's talk penis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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