she looked like the before picture.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Actions speak louder than pants.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
