There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I want is dick and wine.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
