i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
