OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
