You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
