They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
