Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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