I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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