I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
