Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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