There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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