Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize