I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
