Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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