Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
